


Just acting

by MariaXBlythe



Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Anne Shirley in Denial, Confused Gilbert Blythe, F/M, Gilbert Blythe Needs a Hug, Gilbert Blythe has Heart Eyes, Gilbert Blythe is Whipped, Multi, Oblivious Gilbert Blythe, POV Gilbert Blythe, Pining Anne Shirley, Protective Gilbert Blythe, Sebastian "Bash" Lacroix Ships Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Stubborn Anne Shirley
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:13:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MariaXBlythe/pseuds/MariaXBlythe
Summary: Acting is hard. It's a special talent which very few people possess. Although acting alongside someone who you may or may not have feelings for is even harder. Especially when the past plays its part as well.
Relationships: Anne Shirley & Muriel Stacy, Cole Mackenzie & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry & Anne Shirley, Diana Barry/Jerry Baynard, Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley, Jane Andrews/Josie Pye, Jerry Baynard & Anne Shirley, Marilla Cuthbert & Matthew Cuthbert & Anne Shirley, Ruby Gillis & Anne Shirley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 28





	1. The Man

Anne's POV

I was truly ecstatic. I honestly don't think I have ever been this excited about anything in my whole life. And no I'm, for once, not overreacting. I mean, how would you feel if you were casted to play the protagonist in a show based on your favourite book? If you ask me, I wanted to be a part of it so badly that I auditioned for every role there was. Although, not even with my huge imagination would I ever have imagined that they would offer me the main part. Not only that but from the very beginning everyone has been treating me like a professional even though I literally have no idea what I'm doing most of the time. It was my first big job, after all

I would never admit it but I was indeed extremely nervous. We had just passed the hotel's doors and I was greeted by the luxury of it all. Coming from the small town that Avonlea was, I knew it would take me a while to get used to this life. I searched the faces of the very crowded room hoping to find any signs that any of the men there could be the one I was going to work with. We had just sat down on one of the couches in the lobby when it suddenly hit me. I didn't know anything about him. His name, how he looked like, how old he was, nothing. Wasn't Muriel supposed to give me this information? Then again I never asked either.

"Oh you needn't worry, Anne. I'm sure you two will get along just fine. Just like with everyone else on the team", Muriel , my lovely director, tried to ease my worries probably sensing that something was off about me since I hadn't said a word this entire time.

"Yeah, I know. I don't see why he would be an exception. It's just that I don't know anything about him. Not even his name and I'm afraid that it will be awkward.", I tried to shake my nervousness off my voice, but failed miserably. I don't even know why they gave me this part. It's pretty obvious that I'm not a great actor. When it comes to lying at least.

"Wait, you don't? Oh my, I forgot to tell Chloe to send you a message with some information about him. It's totally my fault, I'm sorry but with everything that has been happening I don't know what to do first", she said rubbing her eyes, an exhausted look on her face.  
"Although you may find comfort in the fact that he probably doesn't know anything about you either", she chuckled.

"Yeah that makes it so much better!", I exclaimed, resting my head on the couch and looking up at the celling. At least we were on the same page.

"Alright, alright cut the dramatic stuff, young lady and let me fill you up a bit. So, he's a very talented young man, whom i discovered in an smaller English film he played in. He's one of my closest friend's brother and a really nice boy. I don't see why you wouldn't get along", she said and i hoped that her words were genuine and not just to keep me from freaking out.

"Wait you said he is English?", I said my heart noticeably skipping a beat. Why did it still do that at the smallest mention of England? It was ridiculous, really. Years had past.

"Yeah, is there something wrong with that? Don't girls your age normally swoon over British accents?", she joked taking her jacket and scarf off as we had been waiting for quite some time now in the warm area of the reception.

"Yeah, I suppose we do", I admitted not even attempting to lie as I myself had been head over heels due to a specific accent and the person who spoke it, long ago.

"Speaking of ages he's about yours, only 22. Oh and most importantly his name is", she started saying as soon as she and I both felt and heard someone nearing us. I turned my head to look at him.

No, no, no. It can't be. Why was he there and why was he standing in front of us, as if he would be my co-star. I didn't even pay attention to anything else and I didn't know if Muriel had even finished her sentence so I took it upon myself.

"Gilbert", I merely whispered. I didn't mean to but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to make my voice stronger. Not when he was standing right there in front of me, as handsome as ever. So similar but so different from the boy I remembered. He with his dark curls, his splendid chin and his stupidly, beautiful hazel eyes, now wide open and staring at me. If my heart had skipped a beat earlier it now felt like it would leap out of my chest at any moment. I hated that he still had some kind of affect on me.

"Anne", he exclaimed, his voice full of shock and emotion. Yes, I hated it. I hated how his voice had changed. I hated how if I had heard him talk in a crowded room I wouldn't be able to recognise him. His image was always crystal clear in my memories but his voice was maybe the first thing i forgot about him and it had been torturing me ever since. It was deeper and more confident in a way now. Matching how mature he looked. He was even taller but I didn't have the time to notice any other changes as I was soon caught in the familiar stare of those two hazel eyes. At least they hadn't changed. It brought me some comfort. They were as intense but as gentle at the same time as the last time I had stared into them. The last time. It's been a fair amount of time since I had thought about that day but having him in front of me? It made the pain worse. Seeing all the possibilities of what we could've have been pass in front of my eyes, leaving tears behind. I couldn't stand it.

It felt like we had been staring at each other, trying to figure this whole situation out for hours but in reality only a few seconds had passed before Muriel asked "Wait, you two know each other already?", clearly confused.

And with that simple question, countless memories flooded my mind. Memories filled with images of the curly haired boy I once knew. The same boy who this man in front of me used to be. Yes I did know the boy. I used to know him better than I knew myself. But I didn't know the man. Yes he had those same mesmerizing eyes, the same appearance and the same ability to make me weak at my knees but other than that? This man was nothing more than a stranger to me. And I intended to let it stay that way. I had no intention of knowing him. Oh why? Why did life play such wicked games, bringing him in front of me once again? This time was different though. I wouldn't have any of it.

And so, as the tears spilled out of my eyes I turned away and ran out of the room. I ran away from the boy with the soft curls I used to run my hands through and with the lips I used to kiss. Away from the boy I used to call mine. From the boy, well man now, who was still able to leave me breathless and feeling so many things just by a simple stare.

I couldn't go back. Not again


	2. The Woman

**_We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me_ **

Gilbert's POV

I had gotten ready at least an hour before the time we had arranged to meet. I was now pacing around in my room, taking deep breaths. I was trying to notice every little detail of the hotel room just so that I would keep occupied. Where each piece of furniture was, the colour of the room's curtains and the bed's sheets, anything to distract me before I completely lost it. I had been doing this for so long that I was sure I could find my way around, even with closed eyes. I stood in front of my mirror and tried to smooth out my hair and clothes. For the hundredth time. I didn't know why I was so nervous. I simply was. Maybe it was because this was my first big project. Sure, I had played in other movies and shows but never in something this big. Although I knew I wasn't this worried about the show as a whole. I was this anxious because at any moment I would go and meet my co-star. I hoped we would have chemistry and get along but nothing more than that. I wasn't looking for romance at that point in my life. But then again I never was. Not even when…

Yes, yes that must be the reason. Although, this had never happened any other time I had met any other of my co-stars. I just had a feeling that something about her would be different. 

My thoughts, as well as my useless pacing around, were disturbed when I received Muriel's text, saying that they had just arrived and that they were now waiting for me in the lobby. "Nice, we don't even know each other and I have already stood her up.", I said to myself. I pulled myself together, picked up my jacket and rushed out of the room. I decided to take the stairs. It would take longer than the lift, something that would definitely benefit me since I needed to calm down. As I was nearing the staircase I tried to imagine how the woman would look like. In the books Cordelia is described as golden-haired, with big blue eyes and rose skin. I expected a girl like that. Wait, the woman? Oh no! I didn't even know her name. I should have asked for basic information like this when Muriel had told me about her but I was too excited about having gotten the role to think straight. "So, not only have I stood her up but I also don't know her name. You can't make a worst impression Gilbert", I thought to myself.

After a while of just staring at the damn staircase I decided to take the first step. It was probably going to be awkward at first but then we would work it out, I kept reminding myself. As I was coming down the stairs more and more people from downstairs came into my view. I first spotted Muriel sitting on one of the couches and then my eyes drifted to the woman next her.

Her head was turned towards Muriel, it seemed like they were in the middle of a conversation, so I couldn't quite see her face. Although, you can be sure that what I saw was more than enough to make me freeze on my feet. That hair. That bright red hair. Years had past since the last time I had seen her but I would never forget the shade of it. It used to be one of my favourite things about her. That extraordinary, rich red colour she so much hated. This woman possessed that colour as well but her hair was much shorter, barely touching her shoulders. It couldn't be her, could it? It would be too much of a coincidence. I waited and waited for her to turn her head around but she didn't. I needed that realisation. The realisation that I had lost her long ago and I wouldn't find her again, so I should just stop daydreaming. And with that I tried to gather some courage, ignored my racing heart and started skipping down the stairs.

The place was more than packed but my eyes didn't leave the woman once. As I was getting closer and closer to her I could feel the hair in the back of my neck raising and my heart beating even louder. Finally, when I was close enough both women acknowledged me and turned to look at me. The redhead woman had a shy smile on her face which quickly dropped as soon as she saw me. I contemplated pinching myself. This wasn't actually happening. I wasn't staring at the same crystal blue eyes again. This gorgeous woman with the face full of adorable freckles wasn't Anne. My Anne.

I saw her pink lips moving as she whispered something. It was so quiet and weak that I couldn't quite make it out. I could have sworn that it was my name but I couldn't be sure. She bit her lip and I saw that her hands were shaking, things I knew she used to do when she was nervous or overwhelmed. At least I still knew some aspects of her.

"Anne", I exclaimed, surprising myself with how strong my voice sounded. Completely contrasting how weak I felt at that moment. I tried to catch her eyes but she wouldn't let me. She was eyeing me up and down, examining me almost. I wish I would have been able to hear her thoughts at that moment. I needed to know if this was affecting her as much as it did me.

"Wait, you guys know each other already?", Muriel asked, visibly confused by this whole situation.

And with that Anne's eyes finally looked into mine. I froze. I didn't know what to answer. I didn't know if I should. Did we know each other? I wasn't so sure myself. We used to. Anne used to know me better than anyone. She used to make feel things that no one has ever made me feel. Those same eyes used to captivate me in the same way they still do now, apparently. I wanted to speak. I really did. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry once again since the last time hadn't been enough. I was though. I was sorry for the way we had ended. I was incredibly sorry that we had found something real, in both of our darkest times, and I just proceeded to throw it out of the window. Like we were nothing. Would she even care? So much time had past. I used to know the girl that my Anne used to be but this woman in front of me? That was currently staring at me with glassy eyes? That woman was just a stranger who simply happened to look a lot like the first girl I had ever fallen in love with.

I was, finally, about to say something when she took me by surprise. She got up and ran out of the room. Maybe it was her fast movements or maybe it could have been my blurred vision from the tears that were threatening to spill out which made her look like a flame in my eyes. A flame which had once given light to my life but had also burned me in the worst of ways.

No. This couldn't happen again. This situation felt way too familiar. I hated it. I hated seeing her body disappear in the sea of people. I couldn't just stand there and watch her leave this time. I had let her go one time. I wouldn't make the same mistake. I knew better than this. I preferred to let her burn me all over again than to lose her, like I once did.

"Anne, wait!", I shouted and began running after her, leaving a very puzzled Muriel behind.

I didn't care about anything else in that moment but her. I was determined to know this woman. Because this woman was once the girl that I had so desperately fallen in love with. The girl that had showed me that there was another way. The girl that wouldn't let me give up under any circumstances. That had stuck with me through thick and thin. The one I had foolishly lost.

Yes, I had lost the girl. I wouldn't lose the woman. Not this time. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have a lot to say ahah I just hope you enjoyed it. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Let me know what you think. Lots of love<33


	3. Disappointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapters are quite short but that's because I prefer updating shorter but more frequent ones. I hope you'll enjoy and make sure to let me know what u think. Love<33

_**realised why I left you in a hurry, when I'm close to you everything is blurry** _

Anne's POV

Everything seemed to be against me. I was running through the crowded room while pushing people out of my way. I didn't have time to be polite. Not when I could hear him calling out to me not that far behind. Which did nothing but motivate me to get out of that damned hotel even faster. I couldn't face him. Especially not in this weak state I was in. I couldn't show him that he still affected me. Suddenly his voice, all the chatter in the room as well as the annoyed remarks of the people I pushed while running started to fade out. Everything seemed to be so distant. Like it was the moment in a dream where you are getting close to waking up and everything starts to disappear. Or better yet, it felt like my head was underwater. Yes, this metaphor suited the feeling of suffocating, which was taking over me, better. I needed to get air and to get away from the person who was suffocating me. I needed to get away fromGilbert.

Finally, I found my way out of the hotel and I was met with the chilly air and busy nightlife of New York. I noticed how sweaty I was and how rapidly my heart was beating from all the running. Alright, the latter could have been caused by something, or someone, else but I refused to believe that. I let out the breath I was holding this entire time and tried to calm down. I turned around to see if he was still behind me. He was nowhere to be found. Well, that was a first. _He must have lost me_ , I thought to myself. _Or he just didn't care enough about this to continue_ , I added. Either way I tried to force myself to feel relieved about it but there was that small part of myself that wanted him to chase after me. Not because I was petty like that or anything, I just needed him to still care about me. Even a little bit. That small part of me was my heart. One that I, unfortunately, could not ignore easily.

After I had a few moments to calm myself down, it suddenly hit me. Right there and then I realised how impulsive my actions had been. I literally fled at the sight of my co-star. I had promised myself that I would never let emotions get in the way of my professionalism and I broke my promise just a few moments ago. I wondered if this would cost me my role. _Or maybe I should just give it up myself ._ I mean how was I supposed to work with Gilbert freaking Blythe after everything? Just the sight of him caused such a reaction out of me. No, working with him would be as close to impossible as it can get. It didn't matter one bit though. I wouldn't lose this role. It was the biggest opportunity that had ever been given to me and I wouldn't waste it. This could be the start of everything for me. So, I decided I would deal with the situation in a mature way and focus on my future instead of my past. Because I knew once I let myself focus on my past, a past where Gilbert Blythe meant everything to me, all of this would come crumbling down.

I wished that was the only downside of my actions though. I was now all alone in a city that I barely knew, among strangers. My first thought was to call a cab to take me back to my own hotel. I took my phone out and dialled the number when I felt like there was something missing. That something was my bag. In my hurry to get out of the room I had forgotten to take it with me. _Great just great._ The only reason I still had my phone was because I had it in my pocket all along. I knew going back inside wasn't an option for me. I couldn't face neither Gilbert nor Muriel before I had some time to think by myself. I contemplated going back to my hotel on foot but not only was that the first place they would look for me but it was also too far away. That much I knew. And so, I put the address on my phone and started for a small coffee shop which I knew would be open and I could also pay for whatever I ordered when I got my things back.

Before I left though, I granted my heart its wish. I turned around and had one last look inside the hotel. I hoped I would see him looking at me through the glass door contemplating whether he should come talk to me or not. I even hoped that the only reason he hadn't continued coming after me was because Muriel had held him back and he would be out and in front of me any moment now. But he didn't. He wasn't there. Just like he hadn't been every other time I had thought that I had seen him somewhere when I truly hadn't. He wasn't there and as much as I hated the knot that I felt tied in my stomach and the burning sensation in my eyes the disappointment did me some good. Now that I knew he wasn't as affected by the situation a feeling of closure took over me. Maybe this didn't have to be this dramatic. Maybe I would be able to treat him as my co-star and nothing more. Or maybe as a friend, at most?

That was my brain and the sensible part of myself taking over. A part that I knew I should learn to listen to more often. And that was exactly what I did. I left after looking at the hotel entrance for far too long. I left and did not allow myself to look back again. Not once.


	4. As Real As It Gets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long time no see, huh? Ngl i have kinda neglected this story cause school has been crazy but I'm back and ready to continue. More coming soon. Hope you'll enjoy. Love<3

_**what would you say if I come over and stand face to face, now that we are older** _

I was sat at my favourite table at the far end of the room and waited for my coffee to arrive. I was trying to sort everything out in my mind but it was too overwhelming. I didn't even know what to think first. Although the warmth the fireplace radiated as well as no one else being there did calm my nerves a bit.

"Here' your coffee, Anne but I have to ask did something happen? Are you okay? You've never come here at this hour before and you burst into my shop like a pack of werewolves had been chasing after you" Ka'kwet said placing the mug on my table. She had an apron tied around her waist and her long dark hair had been up in a bun with a few strands framing her face. This was her place and although I felt bad for keeping her there when it was clearly closed, I didn't know where else to go. She was a dear of friend of mine. She was also from PEI and had come here to make her dream of being a coffee shop owner come true. Our ambitions although very different were what caused us to bond with each other.

"No, don't worry, I'm fine. It's just work trouble", I tried to appear as calm and collected as I could, while I circled my hands around my mug.

"Work trouble, huh? Well, correct me If I'm mistaken but wasn't today the day you were going to meet your co-star? What was he too devilishly handsome for you too bear?", she teased me, wiggling her eyebrows.

"I-I-mean...yeah you can say that, I guess", I chuckled, thinking that would be the best way to not have to tell her anything. I wanted to, it was just that she didn't know anything about Gilbert and I didn't think I could handle telling her everything at my current state. And my response hadn't been a complete lie either. "By the way, I will pay you when I get my things back", I reassured her.

"Oh don't worry about that, I know where you live remember?", she laughed and went to do some cleaning up.

I really wanted to talk to someone though. I was never one to bottle things up. Sharing my troubles with people I love had always been my way of coping with problems. Although it would be selfish of me to wake anyone up. Unless...

"Hello hello, actress. What did we become famous, already?", Cole's voice said just as I saw his face appear on my phone screen. He had placed his phone somewhere a bit far away from him and I could see a good portion of his clothes being stained with paint and a brush on his hand. Up and creating his next gallery exhibition, I assumed. I honestly didn't expect any less of a greeting from him.

"Gilbert Blythe is my co-start", I blurted out having neither the time nor the patience for a prologue. I saw him taking his eyes and his brush off his big canvas as he slowly turned to look at me.

"What!", Cole exclaimed and if the situation had been any different I would have laughed due to how hilarious his expression was.

Needless to say I had to repeat myself at least three times and I got the same response to all of them.

"Can you please just focus?", I almost shouted at him through the screen.

"I'm sorry, Anne but you're telling me that Gilbert freaking Blythe is your co-star? The Gilbert we all know? The Greek-godlike Gilbert you fell in love with in high school? That one?", he questioned and I contemplated throwing my coffee at my phone.

"No, the other one. Do you know anyone else with that name? I should have honestly called Diana", I huffed.

"Put yourself in my shoes, for a moment. Do you have any idea how much of a coincidence something like this would be? I swear to God, Anne, If you're pulling a prank on me or If you hallucinated him", he warned. Yep my phone was going out of the window at any moment.

"Yes, like I would call you in the middle of the night to tell you I bumped into Gilbert as joke. Are you hearing yourself, alright? And no of course I didn't hallucinate him. It was as real as it gets" I sighed while speaking the last part.

"You are actually serious", Cole said hesitantly.

"Yes, yes I am", I said not even in the mood to shout at him anymore as I could feel tears forming in my eyes. "He was real and he was there, standing right in front of me as perfect as ever. It felt like someone had suddenly invented time travelling cause I wasn't in that hotel reception anymore. I was taken years back, in that school cafeteria where my eyes found his for the first time. And the thing I still can't understand is that...I didn't want to come back. I wanted to stay there. I wanted to drown in the pools of golden and dark green he has for eyes. After all this years. But when all the memories of the heartache and the pain came back, it was just too overwhelming. I ran out of that hotel and came to Ka'kwet's shop.", I tried to explain to him, as a single tear escaped from my eye.

"Wait, Gilbert?", he asked, his eyes wide and his brush now on the floor after having dropped it.

"You are kidding me right? You really haven't heard a word that I'm saying?", I said, preparing to end the call, cause he wasn't helping at all.

"No, I-I-mean, hello Gilbert", he stuttered and that was precisely the moment I realised that he wasn't looking at me anymore and was instead staring at something behind me.

"Hey, Cole. Haven't heard of you in a while, man. How are you?", he asked with that strong yet gentle voice of his while I felt like fainting.

"I'm g-good. Well, it seems that you two have some talking to do so, I'll leave you to it. It was nice seeing you again, Blythe", he said and he quickly disappeared from my phone as I cursed him under my breath. At least he believed me, now. 

"Anne?", Gilbert merely whispered, sounding strangely nervous and way too close to me.

I took a sharp breath. I didn't know what to do. Should I turn around? Can I face him after everything? Am stable enough to handle this in a mature way? Am I ready to be reminded of everything we were and everything we will never be again? No. Certainly not. But I was ready to talk to him, figure this situation out and focus on my career.

I turned around and turned my phone off which was bombarded with Cole's messages, freaking out over how he had gotten even hotter now. His words, not mine. 

**Author's Note:**

> Soo here's the first chapter of my first fic. It's not amazing by any means and it has manyyy mistakes but hey..it's fun to write. I can promise that it gets better tho. I hope you will enjoy it. 
> 
> Some notes:  
> -it's a modern day au  
> -the story will go back in the past, i'll make it clear when it does.  
> -the story will have different Pov's, i'll also make it clear when they change  
> -It's probably going to be long, bare with me.  
> -I'll also mention the character's ages and everything you need to know in the story.


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